Therapy for Couples

Embracing relationship as a vessel for self-expansion and growth

Therapy For Couples

Embracing relationship as a vessel for self-expansion and growth

Why does it have to be so hard?

Love is one of the great mysteries of life. We are drawn to people and become entangled with them...but that entanglement eventually gets messy.

However, we cannot live without relationships. Indeed, we are our relationships, and our quality of life is the quality of our relationships.

As much as we might wish to run away sometimes, we cannot escape them. In wanting to run away, we are actually running away from ourselves, from the numerous wounds inside our souls which relationships have caused in the course of our life, since childhood.

Intimate relationships - from traditional marriage to the near infinite forms they can take in the modern world - have a way of bringing all of our unresolved relational wounds to the surface.

Sometimes it all gets so overwhelming that you just need a trained and objective third party to help you sort through things. Couples therapy is an opportunity to not only heal your relationship and restore to it a sense of love and shared purpose, but also to heal long-ignored wounds inside each individual member within the relationship.

Why does it have to be so hard?

Love is one of the great mysteries of life. We are drawn to people and become entangled with them...but that entanglement eventually gets messy.

However, we cannot live without relationships. Indeed, we are our relationships, and our quality of life is the quality of our relationships.

As much as we might wish to run away sometimes, we cannot escape them. In wanting to run away, we are actually running away from ourselves, from the numerous wounds inside our souls which relationships have caused in the course of our life, since childhood.

Intimate relationships - from traditional marriage to the near infinite forms they can take in the modern world - have a way of bringing all of our unresolved relational wounds to the surface.

Sometimes it all gets so overwhelming that you just need a trained and objective third party to help you sort through things. Couples therapy is an opportunity to not only heal your relationship and restore to it a sense of love and shared purpose, but also to heal long-ignored wounds inside each individual member within the relationship.

It's probably time for relationship therapy if:

- One or both of you is feeling unheard, misunderstood, or mistreated.

- One or both of you is repressing their true feelings and thoughts, just to "keep the peace."

- One or both of you no longer feel "that spark" that was once there, that deep sense of truly wanting and choosing the other person.

- Once or both or you feeling like you're just "going through the motions."

- You find yourself questioning whether you should really actually be with this person, long-term.

- One or both of you have gone outside the relationship to get needs met that you had agreed would only be shared with each other.

The relationship troubles that you're having are actually a signal, a communication from the "soul of the relationship" that it is time to turn conscious attention to what's going on, both on the surface - but more importantly - below.

It's probably time for relationship therapy if:

- One or both of you is feeling unheard, misunderstood, or mistreated.

- One or both of you is repressing their true feelings and thoughts, just to "keep the peace."

- One or both of you no longer feel "that spark" that was once there, that deep sense of truly wanting and choosing the other person.

- Once or both or you feeling like you're just "going through the motions."

- You find yourself questioning whether you should really actually be with this person, long-term.

- One or both of you have gone outside the relationship to get needs met that you had agreed would only be shared with each other.

The relationship troubles that you're having are actually a signal, a communication from the "soul of the relationship" that it is time to turn conscious attention to what's going on, both on the surface - but more importantly - below.

What does couples therapy look like?

Usually we meet once weekly, and through questions, assessments and discussions we arrive at what issues need to be addressed...and then we address them.

As a therapist trained in family-systems theory, I am always taking a balanced perspective, to see how all parties are contributing to problems...it's never a one-sided problem. Eventually, everyone is going to need to take ownership over their part in the two-to-tango dynamic.

Because there are more people who need time to speak and more complexity to sort through, my couples therapy sessions are 1.5 hours (75-90 minutes), at least in the early stages. As time goes on, and you need therapy less, the length and frequency of sessions naturally reduces, as well.

Also, it's worth saying that a relationship staying together and "making it" is not necessarily the goal of couples therapy (although it can be). Sometimes the most healthy, needed thing for everyone involved is for the relationship to end, or to change form in some way.

It's not up to me to decide this for you, but rather to listen deeply to what the "organism of the relationship" is desiring to become. Sometimes that means staying together and growing through the challenges. Other times growth looks like consciously and lovingly separating, and using that experience as an opportunity to consciously grieve and heal our deepest wounds around separation.

Find the destiny within your love.

No matter what struggles you're going through or the eventual outcome, I trust that the mystery of love has brought you together for some very important reasons or lessons, as part of your individual or shared destiny.

As a therapist, it's my job to to help you realize what these are, so you can move forward in your lives in a good way.

If I seem like a good couples therapist for you, reach out and we'll set up a consultation calls to make sure we all think it's a good fit.

Relationships are very sacred, and I'm honored you're considering me as a guide to help you with yours.

Warmly, Evan

**P.S. - I am a predominantly heterosexual cysgendered male, however I am NOT heteronormative and am honored to work with non-hetero or non-binary couples (as well as thrupples+), if you feel it'd be a good fit.

What does couples therapy look like?

Usually we meet once weekly, and through questions, assessments and discussions we arrive at what issues need to be addressed...and then we address them.

As a therapist trained in family-systems theory, I am always taking a balanced perspective, to see how all parties are contributing to problems...it's never a one-sided problem. Eventually, everyone is going to need to take ownership over their part in the two-to-tango dynamic.

Because there are more people who need time to speak and much more complexity to sort through, my couples therapy sessions are longer, going 1.5 hours (75-90 minutes), at least in the early stages. As time goes on, and you need therapy less, the length and frequency of sessions naturally reduces, as well.

Also, it's worth saying that a relationship staying together and "making it" is not necessarily the goal of couples therapy. Sometimes the most healthy, needed thing for everyone involved is for the relationship to end, or to change form in some way.

It's not up to me to decide this for you, but rather to listen deeply to what the "organism of the relationship" is desiring to become. Sometimes that means staying together and growing through the challenges. Other times growth looks like consciously and lovingly separating, and using that experience as an opportunity to consciously grieve and heal our deepest wounds around separation.

Find the destiny within your love.

No matter what struggles you're going through or the eventual outcome, I trust that the mystery of love has brought you together for some very important reasons or lessons, as part of your individual or shared destiny.

If I seem like a good couples therapist for you, reach out and we'll set up a consultation calls to make sure we all think it's a good fit.

Relationships are very sacred, and I'm honored you're considering me as a guide to help you with yours.

Warmly, Evan

**P.S. - I am a predominantly heterosexual cysgendered male, however I am NOT heteronormative and am honored to work with non-hetero or non-binary couples (as well as thrupples+), if you feel it'd be a good fit.

To get started, complete the contact form below or

call/text me at (424) 248-9115.

To get started, complete the contact form below or call/text me at (424)248-9115.